Parenting Resources
Disciplining Children with Love

· When disciplining, act as soon as possible so your children associate the misbehavior with its consequence. But take the time to respond, not react. You can tell your children, “I need to think about this for a bit.”

· Be respectful, even when disciplining, and always focus on the behavior, not the child.

· Fit the consequences to the behavior. For instance, if your child paints on the wall, have the punishment be to clean it off. If apologies are in order, have your child make them.

· Be brief in your scolding. Children stop listening if scolding is excessive.

· Follow through. If your children are supposed to lose a privilege or expect a consequence because of some misbehavior, be sure it happens. It is important for your children to know that your word counts and to learn from the consequences of their actions.

· Avoid using physical punishment on children. Otherwise, you teach them that it’s OK to control others by using intimidation and physical force. Besides, you can cause serious harm. If you feel you are getting angry enough to do something you will regret, take a time-out yourself until you are calmer.

Respond – Don’t React!
This is an important cornerstone of disciplining. When you “react,” you are acting quickly, and that usually means emotionally. The biggest danger of “reacting” is that you may harm a child, either emotionally or physically. On the other hand, when you “respond,” you are taking some time to think, so that you can be more level headed. Remember, even in an emergency, you almost always have a little time to think.